After last night, I could never be a politician.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
