Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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