he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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