I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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