oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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