I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
