Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
