u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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