Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
