called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
