Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
