I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You made out with two different species that night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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