She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
