If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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