If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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