Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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