I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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