seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
