so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
