Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
