what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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