have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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