They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
