Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
