I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
