Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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