I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
