if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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