Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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