i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
