It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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