I want to have your abortion
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
