watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
