Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
