so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
