Nicole vs. Life
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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