I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
be right there i have to get my cape
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
