He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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