i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
