We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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