those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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