it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
