I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
