1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
