Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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