i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
PANTIES FOUND
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