just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
