I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm having to shit out rocks
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
