I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
