I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
