I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
