We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My vagina is officially offended.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
